Here is my unfinished story about an old video series I made with my friends. Please let me know what you think, and if any grammar needs to be changed, thanks!
Survive
It was a warm, sunny day. I was sitting in my house, packing my bags. I was going on a trip with a few colleagues from school to a trip to Greenland, for study. After a few minutes I was ready.
I had sent a text message one of my colleagues, Brett. It said that I was ready, and for him to come pick me up. After a few minutes I heard his loud, 1969 Camaro%26#039;s engine roar.
“You ready yet?” He shouted
“Yes..” I sighed
“Lets go then!” He said.
We hopped in his Camaro and zoomed off. After about a 15 minute drive, we arrived at our other friend%26#039;s house. He had a 2 story, double decked plane.
“Here you go.” He said.
“Yes, thank you so much!” I said.
“But, there is one thing.” He proclaimed.
“Yes..?” Brett said.
“You gotta share it with some mental students from Chicago.”
“WHAT?” Brett and I shouted.
“Yes, unless you want to pay for gas.” He said.
“Okay, I will get them, just wait here”
“Alright, dude” I smiled”
About 2 hours later they arrived in a HUGE tour bus. There was at least 50, if not more.
“Here they are” He said.
“Lets go!” Said Brett.
We then boarded the plane and took off. The flight was going as well as expected. It was about 11:30 at night. We were all asleep until the pilot went on the P-A and announced the following message:
“We are hitting some uncalled for storms. We should be out of this weather shortly.”
Everyone fell asleep after that, but me. I got out of my chair, unbuckled my seat belt, and walked up to the pilot. I asked him questions about the weather.
I was in the middle of a sentence, but I was interrupted. All of a sudden, a loud bang was heard. I was scared to my stomach. All of a sudden the plane was flying down.
Within 2 minutes of the crash I was knocked out cold. I had no clue what happened at all. All I knew was I was sopping wet, and I had a huge cut on my arm.
At about, I don%26#039;t know, 10:00 AM I woke. I was dry, and my arm was healed. I was in a forest, and I heard no voices. I was scared that I may be the only survivor. I walked around, soon to see a person. It was Brett. I was relived.
“Are you okay?” Brett said.
“Yes, and you?” I said.
“Yes, I am.” Brett responded.
He must have found his camera. He was video taping. He always did that when something important happened. I tisked inside of my head, but I thought that if we made it back, this could be great to see.
“Uh... dude.” Said Brett
“What?” I said
“ Is that a trap?” Asked Brett.
I thought and stared.
“Yes.. so?” I asked
“SOMEBODY ELSE IS HERE!” Yelled Brett.
“YOUR RIGHT!” I responded.
Now we both knew we weren%26#039;t alone. We were both scared out of our minds. We walked around, hoping for an exit. Then, all of a sudden-
“AHHH!” We heard a loud scream and looked up. It ends up it was two of the mental students. Their names were Adalina and Liliana.
“WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY!” Shouted Brett.
“Oh...” Adalina proclaimed.
Then, after finding them, we continued our journey. Before even going a meter, we met another person. He was an Indian. Right away he greeted us in a kind manner. His name was Austin.
“Hello” Said Austin.
“Hello” I said.
I went off telling him our problem, while Brett, Adalina and Liliana went off to explore some more. I told him we were hungry and needed a place to sleep. He showed us his area and offered us help.
“Brett!” I yelled.
“Come here!”
He came over and I explained what he said to us. I told him that he is building our beds, and if he could help. Brett went over while the students watched.
“Do you think that there are anymore survivors?” Asked Brett.
“No, if there were, they would have heard us.” I told Brett.
It was getting late. I was hoping that we could find some stuff that we could use from the plane, but I was scared to go in there. All the dead bodies, I would turn white real fast.
That night, all 5 of us were sitting by the fire. We all were cold, but glad that we lived. I overheard the conversation Brett and Austin were having.
They were saying there is an enemy. He was a big man, and he had many hand made weapons. They also talked about having protection, and that we are NOT safe.
As soon as I heard that, I feared my life. I knew I wasn%26#039;t safe. After fearing my self to sleep that night, I had terrible nightmares. I had a dream that we were building a base when the enemy came and we weren%26#039;t prepared.
After that I woke up. It was really early in the morning, probably about 5 AM. I was surprised to see Brett up, and not the Indian.
“What are you doing up?” I said in a raspy voice.
“Making weapons. I had nightmares.” Brett Said
“So did I!” I said.
“Here help me sharpen this.” He was making a knife of stone.|||I like it but, i don%26#039;t think it should be mental patients|||LOVE IT(: write more...
Saturday 4 June 2011
Can you let me know what you think of my short story? (It's a fiction based on some stories I read.)?
The Death of My Childhood
I was seven years old when I met him. It seems young now, but I remember it as a perfectly mature age. He was all of ten and the object of every little girl’s desire. He was the best-loved of the town-boys. I recall many girls fighting like mad cats for his affections. I’ve never been a lover of competitions and stayed far away from their battling frenzies.
He was always a loud, obnoxious child which did not particularly endear him to me. I hated any noise invading my personal space. One day, I excused myself from the town church service and hurried outside to fetch my baby sister’s bottle from the car. En route, I took the opportunity of being alone to belt out my favorite lyrics. Closing the door, I jumped in surprise. He was leaning against the vehicle in as much confidence as a now eleven-year-old could muster. His arms were crossed and his face marked with a sly grin. Blood rushed to my cheeks. His look said it all: “Aha, I’ve finally seen a crack in your shell.
From that moment, changes in our daily interactions appeared. He followed me around town just to open every door for me. He stole my diary and returned it to me with a note that he had enjoyed my poetry. He sat close to me and wouldn’t let any of the other boys near. Still, I was shy and wasn’t going to exert myself until I heard him say the words “I love you.”
When I was thirteen, I was swinging idly on the park bench, trailing one bare foot on the ground and the other knee tucked up close to the alarming developments occurring in my chest. Heavily absorbed in a nineteenth –century novel, I hadn’t realized that he was standing over me, calling my name. Frustrated, he knocked the book out of my hand and kept my hand in his grip.
“Why won’t you ever listen to me?” he protested.
I looked into his deep brown eyes. Instantly, I felt my soul seared by their vulnerable expression. He leaned forward quickly and planted a swift kiss on my chapped lips. It knocked the breath right out of me. We both waited hesitantly, started by the happening. Ducking his head abashedly, he dashed away.
We rarely spoke again, and we certainly didn’t exchange love you’s. I wonder what would have happened if we did. I focused on school work and preparing for college and developing my own little amateur business. He soon dashed off to explore the world, hiking through several obscure countries.
I’m sixteen now as I sit here in the town church. In the pew ahead of me, his following of lovers are sobbing violently. His coffin lies near the pulpit, shrouded in boquets, shut tightly—they said the car accident left his body terribly mangled. His parents comfort each other. I sit in the back with my family in the un-relatives section.
Tears escape from my eyes, and I struggle to contain them. Why should I mourn for him? Wouldn’t others despise me for weeping? They thought I only barely knew him.
An ache clutched at my heart. There is something I feel for him that can never be forgotten. I don’t know if you would call it love. I’ve never loved someone before. Did he still love me?
We form a line to express our condolences to his family. I pause for a moment. If this had been some cheesy movie, she would have handed me a three-page note discovered agmongst his belongings detailing how his sincerest affections for me magnified since that kiss. But his mother stares at me blankly. I give her the customary hug and pass by the coffin, running my palm along the oak edge. For just a minute, I imagined it to be a prominent cheekbone, mentally adding tanned leathery skin and the beginnings of a light brown beard.
I do not know if he loved me still or I, him. All I know is that he was the dearest part of my childhood. An abundance of cherished memories.
I bow my head in respect for the dead, the death of him and the death of my childhood. I raise my head, tears dried. This is my coming-of-age story.|||That was incredible! I love your style, its excellent! You really know how to grab the reader%26#039;s attention and make them want to read from beginning to end. I loved it. I liked the way you said %26quot;as I sit here, in the town church. In the pew ahead of me, his following of lovers are sobbing violently. His coffin lies near the pulpit,%26quot; you could have just said %26quot;he%26#039;s dead and I%26#039;m at his funeral%26quot; but you didn%26#039;t, you showed it in a really clever way.
But there is one thing, when she is at the funeral, you keep switching from past tense and present tense. I think you should read through it and make a few adjustments.
Other than that, I think you%26#039;ve got a great talent and you%26#039;ll go far with it.
Well done! You should be proud!
Best of luck in the future =)
xx|||It was a short short story. It could be longer, way longer. I barely had enough time to like/dislike the kid and you killed him. Maybe too fast without much details AND you need to expand how he affected you more (in life, not in his death) I would have liked more description of things. The word %26quot;fetch%26quot; is a old fashioned word and, well, it was an odd choice. Might I suggest you send it out to magazines that print flash stories. Duotrope is one you can google and look through Emagazines and such. Good luck|||Hm it is very good but I suppose you could add how she heard about the accident and how the boy%26#039;s family invited her to be at the funeral. Other than that it%26#039;s pretty good.:)|||wow! i love this! It%26#039;s a brilliant, fantastic piece of writing and fairly emotional. The only thing I would say is %26quot;en route%26quot; doesn%26#039;t really fit in with the style of the writing.
I was seven years old when I met him. It seems young now, but I remember it as a perfectly mature age. He was all of ten and the object of every little girl’s desire. He was the best-loved of the town-boys. I recall many girls fighting like mad cats for his affections. I’ve never been a lover of competitions and stayed far away from their battling frenzies.
He was always a loud, obnoxious child which did not particularly endear him to me. I hated any noise invading my personal space. One day, I excused myself from the town church service and hurried outside to fetch my baby sister’s bottle from the car. En route, I took the opportunity of being alone to belt out my favorite lyrics. Closing the door, I jumped in surprise. He was leaning against the vehicle in as much confidence as a now eleven-year-old could muster. His arms were crossed and his face marked with a sly grin. Blood rushed to my cheeks. His look said it all: “Aha, I’ve finally seen a crack in your shell.
From that moment, changes in our daily interactions appeared. He followed me around town just to open every door for me. He stole my diary and returned it to me with a note that he had enjoyed my poetry. He sat close to me and wouldn’t let any of the other boys near. Still, I was shy and wasn’t going to exert myself until I heard him say the words “I love you.”
When I was thirteen, I was swinging idly on the park bench, trailing one bare foot on the ground and the other knee tucked up close to the alarming developments occurring in my chest. Heavily absorbed in a nineteenth –century novel, I hadn’t realized that he was standing over me, calling my name. Frustrated, he knocked the book out of my hand and kept my hand in his grip.
“Why won’t you ever listen to me?” he protested.
I looked into his deep brown eyes. Instantly, I felt my soul seared by their vulnerable expression. He leaned forward quickly and planted a swift kiss on my chapped lips. It knocked the breath right out of me. We both waited hesitantly, started by the happening. Ducking his head abashedly, he dashed away.
We rarely spoke again, and we certainly didn’t exchange love you’s. I wonder what would have happened if we did. I focused on school work and preparing for college and developing my own little amateur business. He soon dashed off to explore the world, hiking through several obscure countries.
I’m sixteen now as I sit here in the town church. In the pew ahead of me, his following of lovers are sobbing violently. His coffin lies near the pulpit, shrouded in boquets, shut tightly—they said the car accident left his body terribly mangled. His parents comfort each other. I sit in the back with my family in the un-relatives section.
Tears escape from my eyes, and I struggle to contain them. Why should I mourn for him? Wouldn’t others despise me for weeping? They thought I only barely knew him.
An ache clutched at my heart. There is something I feel for him that can never be forgotten. I don’t know if you would call it love. I’ve never loved someone before. Did he still love me?
We form a line to express our condolences to his family. I pause for a moment. If this had been some cheesy movie, she would have handed me a three-page note discovered agmongst his belongings detailing how his sincerest affections for me magnified since that kiss. But his mother stares at me blankly. I give her the customary hug and pass by the coffin, running my palm along the oak edge. For just a minute, I imagined it to be a prominent cheekbone, mentally adding tanned leathery skin and the beginnings of a light brown beard.
I do not know if he loved me still or I, him. All I know is that he was the dearest part of my childhood. An abundance of cherished memories.
I bow my head in respect for the dead, the death of him and the death of my childhood. I raise my head, tears dried. This is my coming-of-age story.|||That was incredible! I love your style, its excellent! You really know how to grab the reader%26#039;s attention and make them want to read from beginning to end. I loved it. I liked the way you said %26quot;as I sit here, in the town church. In the pew ahead of me, his following of lovers are sobbing violently. His coffin lies near the pulpit,%26quot; you could have just said %26quot;he%26#039;s dead and I%26#039;m at his funeral%26quot; but you didn%26#039;t, you showed it in a really clever way.
But there is one thing, when she is at the funeral, you keep switching from past tense and present tense. I think you should read through it and make a few adjustments.
Other than that, I think you%26#039;ve got a great talent and you%26#039;ll go far with it.
Well done! You should be proud!
Best of luck in the future =)
xx|||It was a short short story. It could be longer, way longer. I barely had enough time to like/dislike the kid and you killed him. Maybe too fast without much details AND you need to expand how he affected you more (in life, not in his death) I would have liked more description of things. The word %26quot;fetch%26quot; is a old fashioned word and, well, it was an odd choice. Might I suggest you send it out to magazines that print flash stories. Duotrope is one you can google and look through Emagazines and such. Good luck|||Hm it is very good but I suppose you could add how she heard about the accident and how the boy%26#039;s family invited her to be at the funeral. Other than that it%26#039;s pretty good.:)|||wow! i love this! It%26#039;s a brilliant, fantastic piece of writing and fairly emotional. The only thing I would say is %26quot;en route%26quot; doesn%26#039;t really fit in with the style of the writing.
I fooled around with a guy i like when we were drunk and he doesnt want to talk about it. What should i do?
Ok, so the story is, when i moved in with my roommate, i met one of her guy friends and i liked him. But i heard so many different stories about him that i kept trying to deny it to myself that i really was attracted to him. Everyone kept saying how he slept with this girl and that girl etc etc and so on... he%26#039;s 29 and im 21... he has 3 kids with 2 different women, and barely ever sees them and he has to pay child support. He lives with his friend and is supposed to pay rent but he owes him a lot of money. And he%26#039;s always talking about how he needs to get laid and he makes dirty jokes...
i dont know, i think he puts on a kind of bad boy front but could be a really nice guy when he wants to be. and i still dont understand 100% why i am attracted to him (if you read above, who would be right?) but he makes me laugh and ....yeah thats probably about it... also i sometimes got the feeling he might be interested in me as well just because id catch him looking at me sometimes and his gaze is so intense, which can sometimes be awkward... but i dont know...
Anyway so back in December, a little bit before christmas, we had a party at his and his roommates place and we were celebrating his 29th birthday, and we all got a little smashed. I%26#039;ve never drank so much in my life before. part way through the night we went to a bar fro the last couple of hours before closing time and some girl was hanging all over him and whispering in his ear and she was all over another guy too. So when we are leaving he tells his roommate not to wait for him (in other words he was going to go get laid / have a one night with the girl who looked quite %26#039;dirty%26#039; i might add) . when we got back to their place we started drinking again and he calls and asks his friend to pick him up because he%26#039;s changed his mind. The girl wanted to have a 3 way and he wasn%26#039;t down for that. So he ends up taking a cab back instead and his roommate pays for the cab when he gets back. we continue to drink and talk and laugh and make jokes etc etc... its getting late and im at this point wasted, my friend goes upstairs with her boyfriend and well we were on the middle floor so we could hear what as going on and considering i was already quite ... erm... horny... it didnt help matters...lets just say i was rubbing against him like a feline in heat... and so the guy i like kinda played it cool and was like %26quot;Im going downstairs to watch a movie...%26quot; he gets up and walks to the basement door and then asks if im coming so i was like sure and i followed him.
We get downstairs i sit on the couch and he%26#039;s searching his folders on the computer to find a movie, and he seemed kind of anxious. Then he started it and sat down next to me (the couch is one of those %26quot;L%26quot; shaped couches a 6 seater so he didnt have to sit next to me if he didnt want to) at this point everything kind of becomes a blur to me because i was far past gone, and all the alcohol was clouding my judgement. So he sits next to me and he puts his arm around me getting comfortable... the movie is on and he chuckles a few times, my eyes are closed and im starting to fall asleep, at some point he started to rub my arm and caress down my side... my arm was across his stomach and to me it was comfortable and i was content cuddling. This is where my memory starts to get choppy, he moved my arm that was across him, and i think he placed it on his crotch and being as far gone as i was i didnt do anything. The next thing I remember is me on my back and he is on top of me with his hand down my pants… I also kept biting him and I think I was kinda loud. At some point I realized my mouth was really dry, so I kissed him again to wet my mouth and it didn’t quite work…. I was in the middle of trying to get his belt undone when I felt it coming… I pushed him off rolled off the couch and vomited. :( yes I know, very sad indeed… first time I ever got sick from alcohol. Anyway… he asked if I was ok and I asked for water… he brought me a bottle of water and sat in the chair staring at the movie playing on the TV… he didn’t say anything to me… I kept saying “im so sorry, im sorry” …. And then I must have gone upstairs cause next thing I remember I woke up on the couch upstairs. I told my friend vaguely what happened, and she was shocked… her bf wasn’t so much shocked cause he somehow knew I liked the guy even though I hadn’t told anyone… I kinda left in a hurry the next day cause my friend and her bf were going to pick up his daughter and I didn’t want to be left alone with the guy I fooled around with so I left.
Next time I saw him was right after Christmas, I had a little dinner party… and one of my friends couldn’t make it, and it was pointed out to me later that it seemed like I tried to set up a triple date which was not my intention,… we ended up going to the bar, and then back to my place afterward, where he started to seem moody and ignored me…
It must have been a few days later I texted him that I wanted to ta|||okay, so.. you%26#039;re attracted to a guy that has 2 kids that he doesn%26#039;t give a shittt about with 2 different baby mamas.. he sleeps around with every skank-ho on the block.. he only turned down some whore at a bar because he didn%26#039;t want a threesome..
i mean COMEEE ONNN. ... all he wanted to do was get some from you.. and he%26#039;ll keep being nice until he does. and he probably will end up getting some because you%26#039;re that niave. then, you can kiss that ******** goodbye.
take it from me now so you want be hurt later... LEAVE HIM BEEE!! get the hellll out of there!|||Too much too read but if he doesn%26#039;t want to talk about it, don%26#039;t pressure him. It%26#039;ll definitely turn him off.|||that is the funniest story that i%26#039;ve ever heard.
but i%26#039;ve done it to so i can%26#039;t say anything. well...with my fiance that is.
anyways...this guy. 3 different kids, 2 different women, and he doesn%26#039;t really see them. i know you like the guy but he%26#039;s a low life. if you can%26#039;t take care of your children then how are you going to take care of a woman?
another thing is...he doesn%26#039;t have a job and he relies on everyone else. stop and think about if you to ended up together. who would be paying for dinner? who would be paying for the movies? that%26#039;s right...you would.
you should have a man that will support you and help you. and you do the same. support each other. but not just one person has to do it all.
i know your attracted to this guy and i understand that. i%26#039;ve been attracted to the wrong people to. but this is just wrong.
if he doesn%26#039;t want to talk about it then i wouldn%26#039;t pressure him into it. i wouldn%26#039;t want to talk to him about it. that%26#039;s what friends are for. lol.
i would just try to forget about this whole entire thing and move on from him. find someone else girly. one that has a job and actually wants to be in his children%26#039;s lives.
if my fiance didn%26#039;t take care of his son then i wouldn%26#039;t want to be with him. if he couldn%26#039;t love his son then how would i expect him to love me?|||If get with him, that will be very stupid. Think...... He can%26#039;t help your life. He has 3 kids he doesn%26#039;t care about. How are you going to be more important than they are? And yet you are wanting to. ??????
i dont know, i think he puts on a kind of bad boy front but could be a really nice guy when he wants to be. and i still dont understand 100% why i am attracted to him (if you read above, who would be right?) but he makes me laugh and ....yeah thats probably about it... also i sometimes got the feeling he might be interested in me as well just because id catch him looking at me sometimes and his gaze is so intense, which can sometimes be awkward... but i dont know...
Anyway so back in December, a little bit before christmas, we had a party at his and his roommates place and we were celebrating his 29th birthday, and we all got a little smashed. I%26#039;ve never drank so much in my life before. part way through the night we went to a bar fro the last couple of hours before closing time and some girl was hanging all over him and whispering in his ear and she was all over another guy too. So when we are leaving he tells his roommate not to wait for him (in other words he was going to go get laid / have a one night with the girl who looked quite %26#039;dirty%26#039; i might add) . when we got back to their place we started drinking again and he calls and asks his friend to pick him up because he%26#039;s changed his mind. The girl wanted to have a 3 way and he wasn%26#039;t down for that. So he ends up taking a cab back instead and his roommate pays for the cab when he gets back. we continue to drink and talk and laugh and make jokes etc etc... its getting late and im at this point wasted, my friend goes upstairs with her boyfriend and well we were on the middle floor so we could hear what as going on and considering i was already quite ... erm... horny... it didnt help matters...lets just say i was rubbing against him like a feline in heat... and so the guy i like kinda played it cool and was like %26quot;Im going downstairs to watch a movie...%26quot; he gets up and walks to the basement door and then asks if im coming so i was like sure and i followed him.
We get downstairs i sit on the couch and he%26#039;s searching his folders on the computer to find a movie, and he seemed kind of anxious. Then he started it and sat down next to me (the couch is one of those %26quot;L%26quot; shaped couches a 6 seater so he didnt have to sit next to me if he didnt want to) at this point everything kind of becomes a blur to me because i was far past gone, and all the alcohol was clouding my judgement. So he sits next to me and he puts his arm around me getting comfortable... the movie is on and he chuckles a few times, my eyes are closed and im starting to fall asleep, at some point he started to rub my arm and caress down my side... my arm was across his stomach and to me it was comfortable and i was content cuddling. This is where my memory starts to get choppy, he moved my arm that was across him, and i think he placed it on his crotch and being as far gone as i was i didnt do anything. The next thing I remember is me on my back and he is on top of me with his hand down my pants… I also kept biting him and I think I was kinda loud. At some point I realized my mouth was really dry, so I kissed him again to wet my mouth and it didn’t quite work…. I was in the middle of trying to get his belt undone when I felt it coming… I pushed him off rolled off the couch and vomited. :( yes I know, very sad indeed… first time I ever got sick from alcohol. Anyway… he asked if I was ok and I asked for water… he brought me a bottle of water and sat in the chair staring at the movie playing on the TV… he didn’t say anything to me… I kept saying “im so sorry, im sorry” …. And then I must have gone upstairs cause next thing I remember I woke up on the couch upstairs. I told my friend vaguely what happened, and she was shocked… her bf wasn’t so much shocked cause he somehow knew I liked the guy even though I hadn’t told anyone… I kinda left in a hurry the next day cause my friend and her bf were going to pick up his daughter and I didn’t want to be left alone with the guy I fooled around with so I left.
Next time I saw him was right after Christmas, I had a little dinner party… and one of my friends couldn’t make it, and it was pointed out to me later that it seemed like I tried to set up a triple date which was not my intention,… we ended up going to the bar, and then back to my place afterward, where he started to seem moody and ignored me…
It must have been a few days later I texted him that I wanted to ta|||okay, so.. you%26#039;re attracted to a guy that has 2 kids that he doesn%26#039;t give a shittt about with 2 different baby mamas.. he sleeps around with every skank-ho on the block.. he only turned down some whore at a bar because he didn%26#039;t want a threesome..
i mean COMEEE ONNN. ... all he wanted to do was get some from you.. and he%26#039;ll keep being nice until he does. and he probably will end up getting some because you%26#039;re that niave. then, you can kiss that ******** goodbye.
take it from me now so you want be hurt later... LEAVE HIM BEEE!! get the hellll out of there!|||Too much too read but if he doesn%26#039;t want to talk about it, don%26#039;t pressure him. It%26#039;ll definitely turn him off.|||that is the funniest story that i%26#039;ve ever heard.
but i%26#039;ve done it to so i can%26#039;t say anything. well...with my fiance that is.
anyways...this guy. 3 different kids, 2 different women, and he doesn%26#039;t really see them. i know you like the guy but he%26#039;s a low life. if you can%26#039;t take care of your children then how are you going to take care of a woman?
another thing is...he doesn%26#039;t have a job and he relies on everyone else. stop and think about if you to ended up together. who would be paying for dinner? who would be paying for the movies? that%26#039;s right...you would.
you should have a man that will support you and help you. and you do the same. support each other. but not just one person has to do it all.
i know your attracted to this guy and i understand that. i%26#039;ve been attracted to the wrong people to. but this is just wrong.
if he doesn%26#039;t want to talk about it then i wouldn%26#039;t pressure him into it. i wouldn%26#039;t want to talk to him about it. that%26#039;s what friends are for. lol.
i would just try to forget about this whole entire thing and move on from him. find someone else girly. one that has a job and actually wants to be in his children%26#039;s lives.
if my fiance didn%26#039;t take care of his son then i wouldn%26#039;t want to be with him. if he couldn%26#039;t love his son then how would i expect him to love me?|||If get with him, that will be very stupid. Think...... He can%26#039;t help your life. He has 3 kids he doesn%26#039;t care about. How are you going to be more important than they are? And yet you are wanting to. ??????
How Is my Story so far?
Please read and give me feed back. Its not done yet obviously...
Prologue
I was in bed about to fall asleep when I saw a pale blue light glowing outside my spider web covered window. A faint humming sound came that vibrated the house. Out of curiosity I got up off my bed and looked out that window squinting, to see that the light was a spotlight aiming at the ground. Two figures began to descend from the sky. I couldn’t really see where they were coming from for the edge of the window blocked my view. So I ran outside.
The air was cool, but with a strangely warm breeze. As soon as I stepped out on to my dried pine needle covered back deck, I saw a huge craft hovering over my house, and the two figures standing under the light. They where a human form with a light green tint. Their heads where normal sized, but had strangely small mouths. They wore a white space outfit with blue trim. They looked exactly the same. Except for one detail, one of them had almost no hair, and the other one had long curly hair. The one with the curly hair walked up to me, and with a squeaky voice that sounded as though he was talking through a radio said, “We are sorry, but there was a misfire from our ship. Unfortunately, your home planet will be destroyed. You are one of the very few humans we have chosen to save and bring to our home planet. You have two minutes to go back to your house and bring back one item and one item only. Go!”
I hurried off into my house. This cant be serious! Earth being destroyed and I only have time to grab one thing?! I think of calling someone to warn them of their impending doom, but I decide against it. Would they even believe me? Even if they did what could they do? I run into my room and look around. This was harder that I thought. What should I bring? The family photo! So I can remember who I’m leavening behind to die? No, I needed something else. There was a loud boom that made the windows crack. I grabbed my back pack and shoved some cloths into it hoping the aliens wouldn’t notice that I had more than one thing. Dashing out the front door, I stopped to look up into the once dark, clear sky, that had been glittered with stars, had now changed to an orangey red. The air even felt noticeably warmer.
“We must go now!” shrieked one of the aliens.
I stepped next to him and felt myself rise off the ground. I watched the earth leave my feet, slowly at first, then a bit faster.
Now miles away, trees were blazing with fire. Sirens echoed from fire trucks and ambulances pointlessly raced to save the helpless. Just as we near the mother ship, I took one last look at my home planet and saw that it was just a ball of flame. Cracks spread through the globe and POOF! The planet crumbled into dust and rocks. All that was left was silence.
Ch.1
Inside the ship, the aliens led me through some halls on what seemed like an invisible conveyor belt. The halls seemed endless. Each door had some strange symbols that looked like gibberish to me.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To the infirmary, to prepare you to meet the others,” answered the bald one.
Finally we stopped outside a door with the same strange symbol, but with a familiar red plus sign on the door. The door slid straight up and we stepped in.
Another alien appeared behind a curtain dressed in a white shiny lab coat. He was a lot shorter than the aliens I was with. He pealed off his gloves and took his mask off.
“Greetings human, please step in; we haven’t much time before your welcome ceremony,” He said with the same radio voice, but a bit more puny. “Come, come, sit here,” he said, gesturing to an examination bed. It had some strange tools sticking out of it. Some that looked deadly. Hesitantly, I hopped up on the bed.
“ I am Dr. , but you may call me Arclop,” he said, pulling over a metallic stool and stepping up on it so he could reach me. He grabbed for a tool that resembled a cork screw, but with an electric spin. He turned it on and moved it toward my nose. My eyes grew to the size of baseballs and I jolted backwards. Arclop made a low gurgling noise that sounded like a chuckle. “You humans are easily scared,” he marveled. Clicking off the tool, he put it away.
“That was not funny!” I protested and sat back relieved.
“Put this on,” he said, handing over a folded outfit.
I took it from him to examine it. It was a one piece jump suit. The base color was a shiny white with a baby blue stripe lining the outside seam of the arms. There was a design painted on the back :
“It means human,” said Arclop as if reading my mind
At the hips there was a lime green strap stitched onto the suit that resembled a belt. The feet were shaped like rubber toe socks.
“It’s way to big,” I said and pushed it toward him to give it back.
He held up his little hand to stop me.
“One size fits all, just remove your earth cloths and put it on. I will be back to show you the way to meet the queen,” he turned and walked|||It was an enjoyable read. You%26#039;re still young, so you%26#039;ll learn how to write better as you progress through your schooling. I only read up to Chapter One, though. You did a good job with a lot of the description.|||It kind of made me dizzy but it wasn%26#039;t bad, It could use rewording/ revising, I also don%26#039;t think that the story should start with the aliens but instead they don%26#039;t show up until chapter 2 or something, and then you could develop on the character some more. for instance he could go to school and get bullied or something, maybe focus on the main characters outlook on life and on the world today. Developing on the character would make it more powerful whenever the character has to leave with the aliens and while he watches his home planet being destroyed.
=]
Prologue
I was in bed about to fall asleep when I saw a pale blue light glowing outside my spider web covered window. A faint humming sound came that vibrated the house. Out of curiosity I got up off my bed and looked out that window squinting, to see that the light was a spotlight aiming at the ground. Two figures began to descend from the sky. I couldn’t really see where they were coming from for the edge of the window blocked my view. So I ran outside.
The air was cool, but with a strangely warm breeze. As soon as I stepped out on to my dried pine needle covered back deck, I saw a huge craft hovering over my house, and the two figures standing under the light. They where a human form with a light green tint. Their heads where normal sized, but had strangely small mouths. They wore a white space outfit with blue trim. They looked exactly the same. Except for one detail, one of them had almost no hair, and the other one had long curly hair. The one with the curly hair walked up to me, and with a squeaky voice that sounded as though he was talking through a radio said, “We are sorry, but there was a misfire from our ship. Unfortunately, your home planet will be destroyed. You are one of the very few humans we have chosen to save and bring to our home planet. You have two minutes to go back to your house and bring back one item and one item only. Go!”
I hurried off into my house. This cant be serious! Earth being destroyed and I only have time to grab one thing?! I think of calling someone to warn them of their impending doom, but I decide against it. Would they even believe me? Even if they did what could they do? I run into my room and look around. This was harder that I thought. What should I bring? The family photo! So I can remember who I’m leavening behind to die? No, I needed something else. There was a loud boom that made the windows crack. I grabbed my back pack and shoved some cloths into it hoping the aliens wouldn’t notice that I had more than one thing. Dashing out the front door, I stopped to look up into the once dark, clear sky, that had been glittered with stars, had now changed to an orangey red. The air even felt noticeably warmer.
“We must go now!” shrieked one of the aliens.
I stepped next to him and felt myself rise off the ground. I watched the earth leave my feet, slowly at first, then a bit faster.
Now miles away, trees were blazing with fire. Sirens echoed from fire trucks and ambulances pointlessly raced to save the helpless. Just as we near the mother ship, I took one last look at my home planet and saw that it was just a ball of flame. Cracks spread through the globe and POOF! The planet crumbled into dust and rocks. All that was left was silence.
Ch.1
Inside the ship, the aliens led me through some halls on what seemed like an invisible conveyor belt. The halls seemed endless. Each door had some strange symbols that looked like gibberish to me.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To the infirmary, to prepare you to meet the others,” answered the bald one.
Finally we stopped outside a door with the same strange symbol, but with a familiar red plus sign on the door. The door slid straight up and we stepped in.
Another alien appeared behind a curtain dressed in a white shiny lab coat. He was a lot shorter than the aliens I was with. He pealed off his gloves and took his mask off.
“Greetings human, please step in; we haven’t much time before your welcome ceremony,” He said with the same radio voice, but a bit more puny. “Come, come, sit here,” he said, gesturing to an examination bed. It had some strange tools sticking out of it. Some that looked deadly. Hesitantly, I hopped up on the bed.
“ I am Dr. , but you may call me Arclop,” he said, pulling over a metallic stool and stepping up on it so he could reach me. He grabbed for a tool that resembled a cork screw, but with an electric spin. He turned it on and moved it toward my nose. My eyes grew to the size of baseballs and I jolted backwards. Arclop made a low gurgling noise that sounded like a chuckle. “You humans are easily scared,” he marveled. Clicking off the tool, he put it away.
“That was not funny!” I protested and sat back relieved.
“Put this on,” he said, handing over a folded outfit.
I took it from him to examine it. It was a one piece jump suit. The base color was a shiny white with a baby blue stripe lining the outside seam of the arms. There was a design painted on the back :
“It means human,” said Arclop as if reading my mind
At the hips there was a lime green strap stitched onto the suit that resembled a belt. The feet were shaped like rubber toe socks.
“It’s way to big,” I said and pushed it toward him to give it back.
He held up his little hand to stop me.
“One size fits all, just remove your earth cloths and put it on. I will be back to show you the way to meet the queen,” he turned and walked|||It was an enjoyable read. You%26#039;re still young, so you%26#039;ll learn how to write better as you progress through your schooling. I only read up to Chapter One, though. You did a good job with a lot of the description.|||It kind of made me dizzy but it wasn%26#039;t bad, It could use rewording/ revising, I also don%26#039;t think that the story should start with the aliens but instead they don%26#039;t show up until chapter 2 or something, and then you could develop on the character some more. for instance he could go to school and get bullied or something, maybe focus on the main characters outlook on life and on the world today. Developing on the character would make it more powerful whenever the character has to leave with the aliens and while he watches his home planet being destroyed.
=]
So my car is squeaking like crazy...?
My car squeaks when it is on. We thought it was the belt so we got that repaired. Then for about 2 weeks it didn%26#039;t squeak, but then the squeaking/squealing started up again. We thought it might%26#039;ve been from moisture in the air, but it%26#039;s gradually become worse over the summer and it%26#039;s been fairly dry and not a lot of moisture in the air.
So what could the problem be? It definitly starts to squeak/squeal a lot more when i accelerate, and it%26#039;s just very loud, I can almost always hear it over my radio (and my radio is usually up fairly loud, but I can still hear like sirens and what not when I%26#039;m driving.
So what could the squeaking or squealing be? Is it an alternator? Or what is it? If someone could tell me what is wrong with my car that would be great.
I live in a suburb outside of Chicago, so would anyone be able to mention the price of how much it would be to fix and what the problem is with the price.
Also (not as important) but I have a float in my gas line, so even though I%26#039;m halfway empty (or halfway full however you wish to look at it) the gauge is never correct. It will say I%26#039;m completely full, or sometimes it will raise higher if i accelerate. But it%26#039;s never correct. I knew about this when I got the car, so I%26#039;ve been watching the tripometer, but how much would it be to get this replaced because sometimes it would be nice to get as much out of my car as possible and not having to keep super close tabs on how much gas is in my car. So I%26#039;ve been filling it up at about halfway since I got the car. But sometimes my parents borrow my car depending where I park it in the driveway and they freak out because they don%26#039;t know how much gas is still left in my car because the gauge could be saying empty or just above empty. This isn%26#039;t my main concern though but how much would it be to get that replaced?
I don%26#039;t know if this means anything or changes prices on anything, but I drive a 2001 Pontiac Aztek.
Any help would be highly appreciated!
Thank you!|||If the squeaking stopped after you got the belt repaced it may just need to be adjusted now... as you use it, it stretches and wears a little, when this happens it can mess up the alignment and cause it to rub somewhere, thus giving you that lovely squealing noise. =) It should be a relativley cheap fix, about a half hour labour and thats all. The going rate for labor at my shop (in canada) is $75/hr. Not sure what it is down there though. If you take it to the shop that installed the belt they should adjust it for free.
As far as the gas float issue goes, I dont think you need a new float, but there are baffles in your gas tank (so the gas doesnt slosh around so much when you drive) sometimes the float can get stuck in the baffles or on various hosing within your tank. ( I had a mustang that did this and its gauge read perpetually full) this just means that you have to get someone to take out your tank, open it up and free up your float so it can bob around freely... this can be a royal pain in the butt job, therfore it may be more expensive, usually a couple hours of labour, depending on if they have a hard time with it or not... they also may have to replace seals/gaskets... they are usually less than ten dollars a piece. usually no more than 2 for this job.
Hope this helps, I wish you the best of luck with it.
|||well it sounds like it could be your harmonic balancer or your belt tension. it also could be a berring on your alternator. it all depends on what exactly is wrong with it. i would say take it back into a shop and have a specialist look at it. if it is what i%26#039;m figuring it will cost about 400 dollars with labor and parts included. and to get your gas gague problem fixed you would need your floater replaced in your gas tank. that would cost about 50-150 dollars for the float and about 200-300 dollars for labor. it all depends on where you take it and how much labor is in chicago.
So what could the problem be? It definitly starts to squeak/squeal a lot more when i accelerate, and it%26#039;s just very loud, I can almost always hear it over my radio (and my radio is usually up fairly loud, but I can still hear like sirens and what not when I%26#039;m driving.
So what could the squeaking or squealing be? Is it an alternator? Or what is it? If someone could tell me what is wrong with my car that would be great.
I live in a suburb outside of Chicago, so would anyone be able to mention the price of how much it would be to fix and what the problem is with the price.
Also (not as important) but I have a float in my gas line, so even though I%26#039;m halfway empty (or halfway full however you wish to look at it) the gauge is never correct. It will say I%26#039;m completely full, or sometimes it will raise higher if i accelerate. But it%26#039;s never correct. I knew about this when I got the car, so I%26#039;ve been watching the tripometer, but how much would it be to get this replaced because sometimes it would be nice to get as much out of my car as possible and not having to keep super close tabs on how much gas is in my car. So I%26#039;ve been filling it up at about halfway since I got the car. But sometimes my parents borrow my car depending where I park it in the driveway and they freak out because they don%26#039;t know how much gas is still left in my car because the gauge could be saying empty or just above empty. This isn%26#039;t my main concern though but how much would it be to get that replaced?
I don%26#039;t know if this means anything or changes prices on anything, but I drive a 2001 Pontiac Aztek.
Any help would be highly appreciated!
Thank you!|||If the squeaking stopped after you got the belt repaced it may just need to be adjusted now... as you use it, it stretches and wears a little, when this happens it can mess up the alignment and cause it to rub somewhere, thus giving you that lovely squealing noise. =) It should be a relativley cheap fix, about a half hour labour and thats all. The going rate for labor at my shop (in canada) is $75/hr. Not sure what it is down there though. If you take it to the shop that installed the belt they should adjust it for free.
As far as the gas float issue goes, I dont think you need a new float, but there are baffles in your gas tank (so the gas doesnt slosh around so much when you drive) sometimes the float can get stuck in the baffles or on various hosing within your tank. ( I had a mustang that did this and its gauge read perpetually full) this just means that you have to get someone to take out your tank, open it up and free up your float so it can bob around freely... this can be a royal pain in the butt job, therfore it may be more expensive, usually a couple hours of labour, depending on if they have a hard time with it or not... they also may have to replace seals/gaskets... they are usually less than ten dollars a piece. usually no more than 2 for this job.
Hope this helps, I wish you the best of luck with it.
|||well it sounds like it could be your harmonic balancer or your belt tension. it also could be a berring on your alternator. it all depends on what exactly is wrong with it. i would say take it back into a shop and have a specialist look at it. if it is what i%26#039;m figuring it will cost about 400 dollars with labor and parts included. and to get your gas gague problem fixed you would need your floater replaced in your gas tank. that would cost about 50-150 dollars for the float and about 200-300 dollars for labor. it all depends on where you take it and how much labor is in chicago.
How to care for/wash a bjj gi?
hey guys i have been training in bjj for about a couple months and i just got my gi 2 days ago i wanted to know how im supposed to wash it.
I heard that you are supposed to hang dry it if i dry it on low heat will that be ok?will it shrink on low heat?
should i wash it in cold water or hot water?
how can i minimize the wear and tear?
do i wash my belt?
also i have a blue gi so if that changes how i should care for it please let me know.
thanks everyone.|||Please god wash it every time you get home it gets nasty trust me.Machine wash cold,hang dry then maybe put it in the dryer on low to dewrinkle it.I have a Koral preshrunk gi.I love these things,they don%26#039;t shrink if you dry em and are the best in my opinion.Anyways it%26#039;s easy wash in cold water then either tumble dry low,or hang dry(if it%26#039;s not preshrunk)Anybody telling you to not wash it alot is nasty.It gets dirty as hell,blood,sweat,spit ect...Have fun rolling.Also no don%26#039;t wash your belt.Once you start getting stipes on it they will not stick to your belt if you wash it with em on there.|||don%26#039;t wash it to much and wash it with cold water and dont dry it it well shrink and yes wash your belt|||Hot water is likely to shrink it.|||I would advise washing in cold water and hang drying just to be safe (gis are not cheap)
I have heard you are not supposed to wash your belt
I heard that you are supposed to hang dry it if i dry it on low heat will that be ok?will it shrink on low heat?
should i wash it in cold water or hot water?
how can i minimize the wear and tear?
do i wash my belt?
also i have a blue gi so if that changes how i should care for it please let me know.
thanks everyone.|||Please god wash it every time you get home it gets nasty trust me.Machine wash cold,hang dry then maybe put it in the dryer on low to dewrinkle it.I have a Koral preshrunk gi.I love these things,they don%26#039;t shrink if you dry em and are the best in my opinion.Anyways it%26#039;s easy wash in cold water then either tumble dry low,or hang dry(if it%26#039;s not preshrunk)Anybody telling you to not wash it alot is nasty.It gets dirty as hell,blood,sweat,spit ect...Have fun rolling.Also no don%26#039;t wash your belt.Once you start getting stipes on it they will not stick to your belt if you wash it with em on there.|||don%26#039;t wash it to much and wash it with cold water and dont dry it it well shrink and yes wash your belt|||Hot water is likely to shrink it.|||I would advise washing in cold water and hang drying just to be safe (gis are not cheap)
I have heard you are not supposed to wash your belt
Im changing the A/C compressor in my car. Is there any special details I need to know?
I have a 98 Honda Civic EX. The A/C compressor I have is locked up, so my a/c doesn%26#039;t work. Im going to get the belt for it now. I%26#039;m not sure if I need to depressurize the system before disconnecting the compressor, but I%26#039;m not sure how to do this. The manual I have says the receiver-drier should be replaced at the same time, is this a big deal? Thanks for any help.|||Yes - the system has to be depressurized. The refrigerant can cause frostbite that can require surgery or even amputation, and if it sprays in your eyes it will destroy your corneas in an instant. The only legal way to do it is for the system to be evacuated by a professional, so that the refrigerant is stored. It can be done illegally by depressing the core of either the low or high side schrader valve with a screwdriver (while wearing gloves and goggles). For a seized compressor the receiver/drier has to be replaced because it probably has debris from the compressor floating around in it.
The system has to be evacuated and filled by a professional anyway - you may be money ahead to have him do the entire job. That gets you around the addition of the oil, the evacuation of the system and the introduction of refrigerant into the system - harder than it sounds. I did all my own refrigeration in the old R12 days but not any more since the introduction of R134a and the laws that accompanied it.
Everything is a technicality until something goes wrong.|||Be careful when depressurizing the system. That sh...tuff is awful sticky and you don%26#039;t want to breathe it. (unless you%26#039;re a huffer. just kidding) Other than that it is pretty straight forward stuff. Good luck.|||you need to take to a shop, to get the freon out it needs to be sucked out by a pump, and yes to warrenty your compressor you will need to change reciever dryer, and orfice or expansion valve.
i do not suggest this for a do it yourself job, to get it working properly the system should also be pulled into a vaccum to make sure there are no other leaks in the system|||have to go to the shop and drain the chemicals out in the proper way, and after u replace the compressor, fill it up in the proper way again...
if you dont do it rite, u may be toxicated or even dead...|||lik some of the others said......your better off taking it to a shop......ive been doing a/c work 25+ yrs and i still git burned sometimes.......also just befor a comp dies it will spit out tiny chunks of metal that can clog the metering device.this needs to be check while the unit is down
The system has to be evacuated and filled by a professional anyway - you may be money ahead to have him do the entire job. That gets you around the addition of the oil, the evacuation of the system and the introduction of refrigerant into the system - harder than it sounds. I did all my own refrigeration in the old R12 days but not any more since the introduction of R134a and the laws that accompanied it.
Everything is a technicality until something goes wrong.|||Be careful when depressurizing the system. That sh...tuff is awful sticky and you don%26#039;t want to breathe it. (unless you%26#039;re a huffer. just kidding) Other than that it is pretty straight forward stuff. Good luck.|||you need to take to a shop, to get the freon out it needs to be sucked out by a pump, and yes to warrenty your compressor you will need to change reciever dryer, and orfice or expansion valve.
i do not suggest this for a do it yourself job, to get it working properly the system should also be pulled into a vaccum to make sure there are no other leaks in the system|||have to go to the shop and drain the chemicals out in the proper way, and after u replace the compressor, fill it up in the proper way again...
if you dont do it rite, u may be toxicated or even dead...|||lik some of the others said......your better off taking it to a shop......ive been doing a/c work 25+ yrs and i still git burned sometimes.......also just befor a comp dies it will spit out tiny chunks of metal that can clog the metering device.this needs to be check while the unit is down
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